Back to Life

Me at the PET scanner. I had to lie still for 2 hrs with radioactive isotopes inside me

What a joy it has been to get back to life. The life in abundance that God has blessed us with is something to behold when you see it through a new set of lenses! I have 4 months of treatment-free life and am making the most of it. The last scan results were discussed on    5 October and my doctor was very positive regarding my recovery. “We have made good progress” were, however, not exactly the words I was hoping to hear. The PET scan was not conclusive and there is still something showing up where the tumour in my chest used to be. It is way smaller and the doctor thinks it could just be scar tissue, but it could also be that the high dose chemo did not manage to kill the cancer. How anything could survive that high dose chemo is beyond me. It is only now, two and a half months later, that my hair is starting to grow back. If that is what the chemo does to the outside of me, then I’d rather not know what it does to my insides. The Lord has restored my body amazingly and we continue to hope and trust in Him!

Sam and I at Kiviets Kroon – treat day to celebrate our 13yr anniversary

The last two months have been great. My stem cells finally grafted and started producing blood cells to restore my body. My blood counts are still below normal levels but are edging up steadily – a journey that could take 3-4 months. My strength is also returning slowly and I am now managing to walk up the steps at work without having to slow down to a crawl when I reach the third floor. I have enjoyed just being able to do normal things like go for walks with my family, visit friends, go out for supper, go to church, meet with my cell group, DIY around the house and even going to work! These things that we so easily take for granted are a blessing to be able to do. Do ALL things to the glory of God. Yes, even work, and work as unto the Lord. I recently received my 15 yr. long service award at work and just realised how God has blessed me and provided for me through these 15 yrs.

I read a verse in Colossians 1:17 which has impacted me – “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together”. Paul is writing about Jesus who is supreme and in Him ALL things hold together. Nothing is out of place to Jesus. Even in situations of hardship and suffering we can know that Jesus holds them together. May my life, like Paul’s, be not my own and lived for my own benefit and own glory, but may it be lived to the glory of God. To live in such a way that others could see my life and follow my example as I follow Christ. I am still far from where God wants me to be – my heart is to live my life worthy of God.

During this journey I have realised that it is critical to have a solid foundation of God in my life so that when the storms come I can stand firm and when they are gone, to rebuild my life again. If the foundation is not there my life could be washed away and it will be hard, if not impossible to start again. I have been amazed and truly grateful to God on how quickly I have been able to get back into life. Sam keeps on telling me to slow down, but this is hard because I am feeling so good. It is easy to get back into the rut and ”busyness” of life – it happens sooooo quickly. Let my life, however, not be the same but refined to look more like God and less like me.

I went for my first ride this last weekend and I struggled up the hills but what a joy it was to be on my bike and out in the beautiful nature. Gauteng sure is spectacular this time of the year!